Ask Satan Anything

Dear Satan,

Is Rush Limbaugh human?  I would like to believe he is only human, but he seems to have the supernatural ability to convince masses of idiots that anything he says is true, even when there is concrete evidence refuting it.  

~ Limbaugher Baby

Greetings Limbaugher Baby,

I understand why Mr. Limbaugh comes off to you as more than human.  Anyone with the power to consume those quantities of OxyContin and at the same time convince the masses of idiots that Sotomayor is a racist has a certain God-like glow to them.  And God-like is the perfect description.  Who executes this type of power and skill with more finesse and surgical precision than God Almighty Herself?  The bitch.   

Look at God’s retarded claims.  “Ah, my sheep (she actually refers to you as sheep – you know that, right?) the world is a land of lollypops and candy-canes.”  Like you mention, you’ve got the concrete proof right here in front of us.  Eight years of Bush, two holy wars, and Kim Jong-il pointing his nasty ass diseased missile at every hot country in sight.  Come on.  It’s not like you’re all stupid.  But the majority of you are.  So, you know – Paris Hilton is a celebrity and God is the All-Powerful.  Or is it the other way around?  I swear I saw God at Nate n’ Als with a Chihuaha under Her left armpit.  She was sitting with Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban.  Fucking show off.  God is such a bitch hole.  

People like Mr. Limbaugh aren’t smarter than the masses.  In fact, the power they posses comes from their recognition that they are just as ignorant as the dumb pack of fuck heads that they cater too.  It’s like a baby selling a baby a diaper full of shit.  Or something like that. 

The bottom line is this.  Don’t be afraid of Rush Limbaugh unless you are a stupid fucking idiot.  So, I guess what I’m saying is, be afraid.  Be very afraid. 

You’re welcome,