Ask Satan Anything

Dear Satan,

Now that Sarah Palin has giving up being the Governor of Alaska, what has she got planned?

Political Junkie

Greetings Junkie,

I know this is surprising, but I can’t actually see into the future any better than you can.  I absolutely try to drive things my way though.  As far as Sarah goes, I have a pretty good idea of what’s to come.  First I’d like to say, congratulations Alaska.  Your nights just got a little shorter.

I’m positive that the lovely Sarah will host a right wing TV talk show.  I think she knows that’s where the real power is.  And money.  The President of the United States gets $400,000 per year –that’s only if you win.  Rush pulls in over 30 million.  That’s pretty simple math, even for Mrs. P.  The Palin Show will present a façade of concentration on politics, but will also focus on hunting and fishing segments, homespun folksy advice, and the occasional skit where she makes fun of herself in a way that is intended to show she can laugh at herself, but which really just reinforces the truth of whatever it is being made fun of.

Oh Say Can You Leave

Ted Nugent will be Palin’s Ed McMann and they will eventually have an affair which will come to light when a disturbing sex tape is revealed featuring Nugent, Palin, a bear skin rug, a side of venison, and a specially outfitted adult crossbow.

I also think that there is a good chance she eventually gets into Celebrity Boxing at some point.

And for me, all of this is good.  If by some insane alternative universe weirdness she does run and win the Presidency – what good will that do me?  The President is surrounded by people to make the tough decisions and keep things running no matter what idiot is in the office.  If you got through eight years of Bush – you could elect a headless monkey to throw poo against the walls of the Oval Office and you’d still be okay.  It’s the Rush’s that I need more of.

You’re Welcome,
~Satan