Ask Satan Anything

Hi Satan.

Why the end of Slayer is so near?  I just fucking love this band, I don’t wanna die without go to any concert.  Shit.  I want to see those guys.  They’re my religion..  Tom Araya is my fucking God.  I can’t live without it.

Why i’ts gonna be over?

~ Heavy Mettle

Greetings Heavy Mettle,

Well, right away there are some easy answers to some of this.  If you don’t “wanna die without go to any concert”, I say, sell some plasma, save up and “go any concert”.  Also – Tom Araya is a good a God as any.  Live it up.  Worship at will.  Can’t live without?  Well then, do the opposite.  Judging from your brief question, that is really the best advice I have for you.

Nice Penmanship

One thing I would like to address is the fact that you all seem to think that I’m somehow responsible for bands like Slayer.   Come on.  Give me some credit.  I’m much more subtle then that.  I was responsible for the Carpenters and REO Speedwagon and many others.  Bands like Slayer don’t have much to do with me, other than that they’ve stolen many of my visual marketing materials such as the pentagram, skulls, rotting corpses, etcetera.  As an aside, I’ll tell you that Hilter is none to happy about Slayers use of his eagle logo.  He seems to be working on a lawsuit of some sort.

Also – I hope that you all would have the sense to know that I would never have a formal relationship with any band with such a horrible sense of font.  Please.

Unlike God, I have no problem with my name being used in vain.  Too the long lineage of “Satanic” bands, from Venom, to Saxon, to Judas Priest, Iron Maiden and even Slayer – I say, bravo.  Good for you.  Keep it up.  The world needs noise totally devoid of melodic sense or intelligent lyrics.

But that certainly doesn’t mean I have them in my iPod.

Why do birds, suddenly appear…”

You’re Welcome,

~Satan